I have been feeling a bit in the doldrums lately. With Zazzy's cut paw followed by that strange morning when she couldn't stand up, she has only been let off the lead recently after the best part of nearly six weeks. That might not sound long to you, but I can assure you it felt like a mightly long time to both of us!! I am going to seek more professional opinions on both Zazzy and Kaydee, but have cancelled all agility training and shows for the foreseeable future. Although I have enjoyed some lovely walks, including a recent outing with 30 dogs in total, I like to feel purposeful with things to plan for and look forward to, so I am not at all enjoying this lull and lack of certainty about whether any of my dogs should continue doing agility. In fact, I did reach a point recently when I wanted to give up agility altogether, just so that I can make a decision and move on! Also because I now worry so much that by asking them to do agility might lead to accident or injury. On the other hand, it also keeps them mentally and physically fit, and actually under controlled conditions I guess they are less likely to hurt themselves than, for example, running round madly out on walks where there might be all manner of dangers (broken glass, sharp branches, holes etc). I would also miss my friends if I gave up agility! And I struggle to think of anything else that is as exciting and enjoyable to do with my dogs. I have realised that agility is more than a hobby to me, it has become a way of life! It would be dull and boring without it. I love travelling around the country, camping with my friends, meeting folk, the camaraderie, developing such great bonds with your dogs, and the exhileration of competing. I am missing the training too. I dropped in on a training day to see some friends, but wow it is cold when you are not running around! I have seriously considered getting a new puppy or rescue to hopefully do agility with, and if I could afford it perhaps I wouldn't even hesitate! Instead I have decided to leave that for a bit longer, and to not to give up on Kaydee yet. I will work on building fitness - long hilly walks, strengthening (particularly strengthening her core muscles to protect her back) and suppling exercises at home (including lots of tricks to keep her thinking), plus massage and gentle stretching. I will keep up the raw food diet (with additional high magnesium foods). Hopefully I will eventually be able to build up some speed work, and finally, if all goes well, maybe some small amounts of agility. It is possible that she might never compete in agility again, so maybe I should find out about HTM! On a brighter note, I cannot see anything wrong with the way that Zazzy is moving, so I am hopefull that she will get the all clear. Then I will have an opportunity to go through all her agility training again methodically from scratch (starting with small jumps and building up slowly), to make sure that she does understand it as well as I think she does, and to build up her confidence.